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so how are things going?

March 25, 2011

when you have a small child, life tends to fall in a series of specific patterns and rhythms.  i have to admit that while adelaide set into a rhythm long ago, i’m still trying to find mine.  i take it day by day, for certain.  but i’m not really sure how to go about this whole motherhood thing while still taking care of myself.  there are so many time constraints and financial limitations and so many people who want a piece of me.  sometimes it’s a little overwhelming.  right now, i’m looking for signs of spring.  and i’m trying to cope with the things my brain just can’t retain, like yes lauren, you do have a load of laundry in the washer that you forgot for two days, again.  or yes, you really did make an appointment at the doctors on friday, although you scheduled something else on top of it because you never have any kind of idea as to when you schedule any thing.  my memory is terrible.  if you have a birthday coming up, i’ll probably miss it.  if you invited me to an event, i’ll probably forget or show up horribly late.  i can’t remember what day it is, although i never forget the weekends. there’s no excuse.  it’s just reality.

i want to run in the park.  i want to finish those knitting projects.  i want to make more cheese and yogurt.  i want to make easter amazing this year.

but mostly, i’d like a little normalcy to return.  i love my daughter dearly and i feel like i’ve known her forever.  but i do long for some of those small moments, like sitting on the couch with d watching a film, 3 cats curled up around us, or taking off at a moment’s notice to go any where i want for however long i want.

i know spring is coming and that means strawberry picking and canning of all kinds and hopefully baby food making.  but i wonder if i’ll be allowed the moments i need to live the lifestyle i want to live.  and any way, will we still be in ohio?  i’m not so sure… so much in the air come june.

let’s end on this note.  i know things are crazy now, but it will change, and i with it.  and i know this for certain, i am surrounded by love.  whether in maryland, virginia, massachusetts, los angeles, cleveland, toledo, or columbus, i am loved from all corners of the country.  and this brings me great joy.

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One Comment leave one →
  1. Aunt Karen permalink
    March 25, 2011 11:29 am

    Thank you for sharing where you are, Lauren. Love you, Aunt Karen

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